For many of us, talking to someone close to us who has been drinking too much can be a difficult conversation to have. You will most likely remain unsure of the best approach and feel overwhelmed, especially if the person is an alcoholic narcissist.
However, having a meaningful dialogue about alcohol consumption doesn’t need to be intimidating or overwhelming. It can open up a greater understanding and connection between you and your loved one.
In this blog post, I will share some tips on effectively communicating with someone who drinks too much in a way that depicts understanding and compassion while also addressing their concerning behavior.
Recognizing the Signs of Problem Drinking
If you are concerned about the drinking problem of a family member, identifying alcohol abuse is an essential step towards helping them with their long-term recovery. Knowing that your loved one is in the same situation can be devastating, but recognizing alcohol as the root cause can open up more options to stay sober in the long run.
Some of the many symptoms of alcohol use disorder are as follows.
Changes in behavior and mood
Changes in behavior and mood can be a significant sign that an individual is struggling with an alcohol use disorder. These changes may include the following:
- Withdrawal from friends, family, and activities
- Becoming unusually hostile or angry when drinking alcohol
- Being unable to control alcohol consumption despite making an effort to do so
- Difficulty in job performance or school grades.
Physical symptoms of alcohol abuse
Alcohol abuse can have devastating physical repercussions. Chronic drinking can lead to the following:
- Liver damage, including fatty liver disease
- Inflammation of the pancreas
- An increased risk of stroke
- Vitamin deficiencies
- Insomnia
- Heart failure
In addition, heavy drinking has been linked to neurological problems such as dementia, Wernicke–Korsakoff matrix, and impairment in judgment leading to injuries that would not usually happen when sober.
Neglecting responsibilities and relationships
Problem drinking can be an insidious problem for those who suffer from it or know someone who does, negatively impacting mental health and an individual’s relationships.
People who suffer from problem drinking often cannot prioritize responsibilities or maintain healthy relationships with their family, friends, and coworkers.
Tolerance and withdrawal symptoms
The individual with a problem drinking begins to need more alcohol to achieve the same desired effect while also entering a cycle of excessive drinking followed by unexplained irritability or mood swings.
Thus, family members must be mindful and watchful for these signs so that responsible help can be sought before it’s too late.
Blackouts and memory loss
Blackouts and memory loss are the most common signs of alcohol misuse. If a person regularly forgets what they did the night before or wakes up without recollection of how they got home, it’s time to reassess their drinking habits.
Increased risk-taking behavior
One of the important signs of alcohol addiction is an increase in risk-taking behavior. For instance, alcoholics may partake in activities that they would typically know are illegal or inappropriate, leading to consequences such as going to court or upsetting friends and family.
If those around someone notice this type of upset behavior, it’s essential to talk with them and refer them to a qualified mental health professional for further help.
Drinking in secret or alone
One sign of alcohol use disorders is drinking alcohol in secret or alone. This can manifest in multiple ways, such as regularly drinking alcohol before others have had the opportunity to finish their previous drinks or pretending to have a drink that turns out to be alcohol-free. Spending an extended amount of time drinking alcohol alone is also concerning and should be taken seriously.
Tips to Communicate With an Alcoholic
Whether it’s a loved one or a colleague, alcoholics can pose complex problems and challenging conversations. Talking to someone with alcoholism is often very difficult, as drinking affects the person, their loved ones, and those close to them.
Major life changes such as moving out or getting help can cause worry and fear in loved ones, as alcohol abuse comes with many risks. That’s why it is vital to seek support to help a loved one feel less alone and confused when they feel scared during these trying times.
Approaching the Conversation with Compassion
You don’t have to protect other family members or sugarcoat your words, but it’s essential to talk honestly, offer advice, and be mindful of your tone and body language. Remember that communicating effectively with those suffering from addiction is an ongoing process that needs patience and understanding.
If you’re worried about making your loved one upset or defensive, try voicing your concerns, as this will open up the other person to a meaningful discussion on the matter.
Setting Boundaries and Expressing Concern
This strategy involves a family member or friend addressing specific health issues with the individual in a proactive way and taking care not to be judgmental. The boundary should be firm but compassionate- when necessary, give direct feedback about health issues associated with alcohol consumption and social situations that can become dangerous.
Offering Support and Resources
Offering support and resources for alcohol abuse treatment is integral to communicating with alcoholics. As alcoholics are often in denial about their addiction, offering them access to professional help like addiction treatment centers or family therapy sessions could help them realize they need help and seek it.
You can also suggest a local support group or other treatment options, like a group meeting at Al-Anon.
Dealing with Resistance or Defensiveness
When dealing with drug abuse or alcoholism in individuals, it is essential to be aware that the reaction may be either defensive or resistant. At times people with alcohol addictions can struggle with communication as they are unsure how to understand and process their feelings. For this purpose, speak in a non-judgmental, empathetic manner and inquire gently about their well-being.
Following Up and Continuing the Conversation
Such conversations should aim to understand the drinking habits, suggest ways to stop drinking, or offer support. It is essential to stay calm and avoid any pressure so that the person feels comfortable talking about their addiction.
It is also advised to consider their situation and offer realistic alternatives. Demonstrating patience and empathy will go a long way to establishing trust, which can be vital in helping an alcoholic get better.
Conclusion
A loved one’s drinking can be challenging, and sometimes raising your concerns is hard. Do not just worry; make sure to take care of their physical and mental health.
Using non-judgmental language and being direct about the steps you want to be taken can create an environment for mutual understanding and support. In extreme cases, loved ones may need professional help from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism to address their drinking.